Standing on the promises

Something I have been grappling with for... well, the past few years, really...is the fact that God has promised us so much. Freely, and unconditionally, He has promised His children unimaginable things. But, the thing is, I don't believe these promises. I don't even try. Instead, I am perfectly content fiddling around with my stress headaches and my panic attacks. Seeing how far downward I can spiral into the cloudiness of anxiety. How different would my life be if I truly embraced these promises?

Faithful is he who calls you, and he also will bring it to pass. 1 Thessalonians 5:24

The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

And he said to unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

For He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So that we may boldly say, “The
Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.” Heb 13:5b,6

For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but you have received the Spirit
of adoption, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father.” Rom 8:15

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I
will hear. Is 65:24

My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2Cor 12:9

These things have I spoken to you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world you shall
have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. Jn 16:33

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds
through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7

Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My Words shall not pass away. Mat 24:35

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF!

Uh-oh...

So I think I've really gone and done the unthinkable by starting a "real" blog. I am no writer by any stretch, and yet I feel the need to be more purposeful and diligent in contemplating what I read and study and see and think by hashing it all out in words. Like in school, when nothing really ever sunk too deeply until you had to write about it. I don't know. Plus, I want to hash my thoughts out with the people I know whose opinions are so valuable to me.

So I'm reading Spurgeon this morning on the presence of Christ and he speaks of "...walking with God as Enoch did, and so turning weekdays into Sabbaths, meals into sacraments, homes into temples, and earth into heaven." And my first thought, is "God, that is beautiful!", and my second is "but how possible is that, really?".

I do such a good job of compartmentalizing certain areas of my life away from God and successfully block so many convictions. It all ends up weighing on me as this collective "unknown" feeling of discontent. How alluring it sounds to be able to live so openly and consciously in the presence of the Lord that your weekdays really do become Sabbaths, your meals sacraments! But how possible is that while all the time being acutely conscious of your own sinfulness?

I've been tossing around the idea of "the presence of God" so much lately after thinking about it little to none in the last couple of years. I think, actually, I went through such a cerebral phase of my faith where I dismissed so much of the experiential side of it as hokey or presumptuous. Does that make sense? And now I'm craving, so much, to understand what it means to be in the presence of Christ.